Ten Hot Tips to Rekindle the Romance With Your Wife

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Physical intimacy is important in a relationship, everyone wants affection! One top complaint from men in relationships is when the physical intimacy takes a nosedive. Unfortunately, when those snuggles and more become non-existent everyone can feel a little left out in the cold. Here are ten tips on how to rekindle the romance!

  1.  You know those little things she asks you to do, but they seem to slip your mind? Like, put your socks in the hamper, or take the trash out? Make a concerted effort to do those things so that she knows you are listening and that you do care about her comfort. No one feels sexy towards the person whose socks they have to pick up.

  2.  Send her sweet and perhaps slightly seductive texts during the day when you are at work. 

  3. Suggest taking a shower together, offer to wash her hair for her while you are in there. How luxurious does it feel to have your hair washed by someone else? Very, and it’s definitely hot. 

  4.  Plan an evening without her input. Hire the babysitter, pick the restaurant and take her to a movie that you know she wants to see at the theater. 

  5.  Run her a bubble bath. Then while she is luxuriating amidst the bubbles, bring in a tray with chocolate covered strawberries and a glass of wine. Do not allow children, pets or phone calls to interrupt her bliss. 

  6.  Rub her feet! Bonus points if you use a yummy scented lotion and extra bonus points if you paint her toenails for her. 

  7.  Write a sweet note and leave it in her car, on her pillow or in the bathroom. 

  8.  Wash her car for her. Bonus points if you do it without a shirt on. 

  9.  Tell her what is attractive about her. Not just “You have a great rack sweetie!”, but tell her what makes her special. “I love the way you laugh, it is so sexy.” is specific to her, not just a general compliment. 

  10.  Ask her what she needs from you, and mean it. Most dead bedrooms come from lack of communication between partners. Both people want to be close, but needs may not be met in other areas, which makes intimacy harder. 

With these ten tips hopefully you will be able to strengthen your bond and heat up the bedroom!

Flying Solo

Resolutions/Goals are also for those whose relationships are in trouble- if you are flying solo (or just feel like you are) here are some of my favorites for the New Year, courtesy of Michelle Weiner Davis.

  1. Envision positive outcomes - There is no way that you can begin to accomplish positive change your marriage if you don't believe it is possible. Start by imagining what your life will be like when your marriage truly turns a corner. The more you can picture every detail, the easier it will be to eventually step into this picture at some later date.
  1. Act as if you expect miracles to occur - Once you can imagine positive outcomes, reflect on how you will be behaving differently when they happen. Then start doing that right now!
  1. Be kind, even if you think your spouse doesn't deserve it - You may be angry, disappointed, or even devastated by your spouse's choices and actions. However, rather than react to unsettling behavior, assume your spouse is lost and confused. Be patient, kind and steady and your efforts will pay off.
  1. Focus on small, positive changes - Don't expect big changes overnight or you will be disappointed and it will make it hard to stay on track. Imagine the smallest change possible that would signal a shift in how things have been going. Then focus on that.
  1. Promise yourself this will be a great year, no matter what - You cannot control what your spouse does, but you can control what you decide to do with yourself and your children, if you have them. Take a deep breath and envision how you are going to make this a good year regardless of your spouse's choices.
  1. If you get off track, get back on quickly without self-blame - What separates the winners from the losers is not whether or how many times you get off track, it's how rapidly you get back on track. If you've veered from the plan, hop right back on track without self-recrimination.

What Fear Factor? Take It On, Stare It Down, Overcome Objections

What Fear Factor? Take It On, Stare It Down, Overcome Objections

Whether it's New Year's resolutions, a milestone birthday bucket list or a lifetime manifest of places to visit and food to eat, more than half of us create a catalog of events, goals and objectives. Achieving these goals is a road often blocked by one major factor: fear. Fear of imperfect results, unattainable goals, possible failure despite numerous attempts, distractions, expectations of others, big steps taken too soon and focusing on only the goal while ignoring the journey add up to an ambitious agenda too often shelved in favor of a safe existence, wondering about what could have, should have and would have been possible.

Money's a factor in life's bucket list; here's how to face fiscal fears and move forward:

Take on the fear, don't let it take over you

People afraid of their money will leave bank statements unopened, creditor calls unanswered and fail to track important money markers such as overdrafts, credit score, credit utilization ratio (the amount of credit in use each month versus the total amount available) and credit history. They don't want to know where they stand; they're afraid of how bad things might be if they peek at the numbers. Keeping tabs on your financial health is as important as the annual visits to the doctor and dentist; monitoring your fiscal baseline now means fewer problems in the future, and the ability to act fast if fraud appears on a financial statement.

Create a concrete plan for life

Money does not create order in your life. You create order in your life, with money as the constructive framework. Start  saving early and put money away for what's needed and wanted. Set up checking and savings accounts, an emergency fund, retirement savings at work (and take it with you via transfer to any new job), and specialized accounts for living expenses, entertainment and large purchases, including a home, car and vacations. A budget is a necessity, whether on paper, spreadsheet or budget software. Track what comes in and how it's spent, and you'll never wonder why you're broke halfway through the month, or find yourself saying "I can't go, I've got no money" when friends suggest dinner out.

Write down any objections and answer them

Think about previous money issues that stopped you from fulfilling your goals. Write out a list of why things didn't go as planned. Then respond in writing to each scenario; how you intend to fix the situation before you say the words "I'm afraid" or "I can't." Now there's a ready response next time the fear of possible financial failure looms and emotions derail your dreams. Your finances, now on firm ground, support your life, your bucket list or that once-in-a-lifetime travel adventure.