Money and Emotions: How to Stop Fighting about Money

Money and emotion

How to Stop Fighting About Money

Fighting with your partner about money can put a severe strain on your relationship. If you’re struggling to stop fighting about money, it may be easier than you think. A few steps can move you in the direction of reducing the frequency and intensity of money related arguments.

Communicate Differently

If conversations about money, and money related issues, always turn into an argument, the way in which you converse is not working. Go into the conversation with a mutual intent to change the way you speak. Respect each others' feelings, allow one another to finish sentences, acknowledge you partners’ concerns, and approach each statement in a calm manner. You will get better results, actually hear each other, and be able to work toward solutions if you converse in a calm, respectful manner.

Do Everything Together

Often, one person in a relationship is responsible for the finances. Instead, pay bills, balance the checkbook, and plan budgets together. This puts each of you on an even field when it comes to being aware of your financial status. With each person being hands on, there is little chance of the miscommunication that can cause fights. By creating a budget together and assigning allowances to areas of your life, all responsibilities, as well as expenditure limits and priorities, become clear.

Discuss Before You Spend

Things come up in life. Water heaters break, shoes wear out, and sometimes you don’t feel like cooking. If an expense, necessary or frivolous, comes up that strains your budget, talk about it before laying down the dollars. Weigh the necessity of the spending, figure out other places in your budget you can pull from, and come up with a solution together. Communicate, compromise, and in the end make sure both parties are satisfied with the decision. Sometimes, simple inclusion in spending decisions is all it takes to avoid a fight.

Make a Savings Pact

Sometimes partners feel the contribution to saving money is uneven in a relationship. One way to ease this is to make mutual goals. Sit down and brainstorm about ways to put a little money away. Perhaps you can both vow to put any leftover change in a jar each day. Maybe one of you can skip the coffee shop once a week while the other packs a lunch instead of eating out. Make a pact to give up little somethings in your life while working toward a vacation, home improvement project, or another goal. This eases tension and leaves both people feeling the other is contributing fairly.

Money does not have to be a contentious subject. By communicating fairly and working together, you can reduce and eliminate fights about money.