Motivation: Losing It, Finding It, Keeping It

We have all been there – 27 things on the to-do list, baby crying in the high chair with mashed potatoes in their hair, work from the office you had to bring home to get done, your partner asking about dinner, and your head feeling like it might explode if you hear that same Taylor Swift song blasting from your teenager's bedroom one more time. You're exhausted, overwhelmed, and your body just wants to shut down rather than jump up and fly around the room getting everything done.


So, you do what must get done – make a quick dinner, clean up the baby and put them to bed, confiscate the source of the Taylor Swift track, and slouch onto the couch. You are left with no energy, no motivation to finish that project you brought home from the office or work on the afghan you're knitting your mom for her birthday. What happened to your day?

Losing It

The days at the office are long and filled with little appreciation and unfulfilling tasks. Nights are chaotic and never seem to offer enough alone time. Weekends are packed with chores and errands and before you know it, Monday morning is breaking and the cycle repeats. You never seem to have that spark anymore to do more than the bare minimum, let alone the things you truly enjoy. Where did that feeling go?

Finding It

Motivation can be an elusive beast – something that needs to be nurtured and tamed. The good news is, there are a few lifestyle changes that you can implement that can help coax it back out:

  1. Set Goals – having short-term, specific, and achievable goals helps keep you and your motivation focused. And when you reach a goal, reward yourself – you've earned it!

  2. Sleep & Wake Up Well – before you go to bed at night, have a wind-down routine so that you get a deep, good night's rest. Then, when you wake up, try a simple five-minute meditation to start the day off with a positive vibe. Being out of alignment or exhausted all day from lack of a good night's rest does nothing to help with motivation.

  3. Make a Routine – you may feel like you have a routine now – go to work, come home, manage the chaos, go to bed, repeat – but that isn't the kind of motivation-inducing routine we are looking for. Make sure you have scheduled time for yourself. Keep to set times for bed and wake up and even meals. Keeping to a routine can help not just with motivation but with focus, energy, and even anxiety as well.

Keeping It

No matter what you do, you will still have days where the procrastination monster hits, and motivation is nowhere around to save you. And that's okay. The goal is to have less of those days and more productive days filled with the spark of positive progression in your life. Keep in mind that everyone is different, so be sure to explore different ways to kickstart the motivation flame within you. You may even need to change things up occasionally if you feel like what was working is starting to fall flat. The key is to never give up, never let yourself slouch on the couch and accept defeat, accept that the spark is gone because it is never gone.

Remember, if you need any support regarding you as an individual or with your relationship, feel free to contact us today to learn how we can help.

Flying Solo

Resolutions/Goals are also for those whose relationships are in trouble- if you are flying solo (or just feel like you are) here are some of my favorites for the New Year, courtesy of Michelle Weiner Davis.

  1. Envision positive outcomes - There is no way that you can begin to accomplish positive change your marriage if you don't believe it is possible. Start by imagining what your life will be like when your marriage truly turns a corner. The more you can picture every detail, the easier it will be to eventually step into this picture at some later date.
  1. Act as if you expect miracles to occur - Once you can imagine positive outcomes, reflect on how you will be behaving differently when they happen. Then start doing that right now!
  1. Be kind, even if you think your spouse doesn't deserve it - You may be angry, disappointed, or even devastated by your spouse's choices and actions. However, rather than react to unsettling behavior, assume your spouse is lost and confused. Be patient, kind and steady and your efforts will pay off.
  1. Focus on small, positive changes - Don't expect big changes overnight or you will be disappointed and it will make it hard to stay on track. Imagine the smallest change possible that would signal a shift in how things have been going. Then focus on that.
  1. Promise yourself this will be a great year, no matter what - You cannot control what your spouse does, but you can control what you decide to do with yourself and your children, if you have them. Take a deep breath and envision how you are going to make this a good year regardless of your spouse's choices.
  1. If you get off track, get back on quickly without self-blame - What separates the winners from the losers is not whether or how many times you get off track, it's how rapidly you get back on track. If you've veered from the plan, hop right back on track without self-recrimination.